Wednesday, November 4, 2009

"IN THROUGH THE BACK DOOR"....medications and therepy

Before I begin this post I will say what I believe> Medications for A.D.D. are the best way to help people with A.D.D.. Psychological Therapy, I cannot say, because I have'nt tryed....yet.

Just like I have done my whole life, I go in through the back door. When I was a young man, I would always make a point to do that, when I went to my favorite "hole in the wall" beer joints to get drunk and play pool. (I don't go to bars or drink now btw) Most of those bars were what my one of my best freinds, big burley, tatoo'ed dad would jokingly, but seriously, describe to us in his deep southern accent, and say: "Boy's, them there places yur goin to, are the kinda places that when ya git there, if ya aint got a gun, they'll give ya one before they let ya in." He knew this, because that's where he probably got some of his scars, in his younger days. I can only say, my need for stimulation was in abundant supply in those bars. Some scars and dental bills later were'nt so fun though.....As you can plainly see, I was'nt a very good boy, in the late 70's. I'm luckly to be alive, and not ever get arrested.....besides a couple public intoxication's and a disorderly conduct.,,,,, Note: I did grow up, and finnaly stay whithin the limits of a decent society. But I went "In Through The Back Door."

I could give many more examples of the way I have gone in through the back door in my life. I could also have titled this post "Walking Through Fire to Get a Drink of Water". But I realy do like useing the back door, instead of the front door, for some reason I don't know, at every house or store..etc if I can. So it fits my personality I guess.......... Now on to medications and therapy>>>>

In my previous post, I showed my path to A.D.D. dx, but did'nt go into alot of detail about the recomendations that Dr. Ruwe(nueropsych) wrote on his report to Dr. Pardo, my M.S. Dr.. >Dr. Pardo states in my reports: "We will add Adderall XR 20 mg(to my long list af other meds, for other reasons)one per day A.M., partly based on the recommendations of  Dr. Ruwe, and the fact that Mr. Hutson presently experences multiple sclerosis-induced fatigue." He goes on to write;"At this time, it is our recommendation that Mr. Hutson participate in psychological counseling routinely. Additionally we would highly recommend that Mr. Hutson become involved in a comprehensive neurocognitive type therepy."

Can you see why I titled this post "IN THROUGH THE BACK DOOR" yet? The meds have helped me very much...but I am not sure about the counseling,therapy,etc....yet. I did go to an occupational evaluation, and a speech therapy evaluation on the same day, at the same office. The big boss(a very nice female Dr.) of the theraputic place came in to talk to me, after both pathologists saw me. She said she wanted to meet me, and ask me a few questions, because it is unusual for a patient to be being treated for both these things, and my whole situation(how I ended up there). That kinda concerned me.

Both those "interveiws" that day, seemed alot like my day of testing @ Dr..Ruwe's. And they asked so many questions, and would get up and go get something(another book/test thing), and I could hear em mumbling in the hall, like they were not sure about me. I could tell they were trying not to alarm me(scare me) about why this evaluation was taking all day, instead of what I was told, when I made the appt.(1&1/2-2 hrs, tops...uh huh). I may be a little goofy, but I'm not stupid, or blind. I know when something is fishy. So I'm a little hesitant about this whole psycho therapy stuff.

I would like to know what you think, or know about this. Thank You all for any comments!



  1. Wow're a unique specimen I guess! (As if we didn't already know that, lol.) Truly, it could simply be the case that they're just beside themselves to have a patient to "study" who has such a unique combination of diagnoses. The only "problem" may be that doctors a) are scientists and b) often do not have great bedside manner and these two facts may have simply allowed them to treat you as a "specimen" rather than a person.

    So no need to fret...if there's something you need to know, I'm sure they'll tell you. You may just be the magic candyshop of specimens for them, and they may just be socially inept.

    Interestingly my mother technically has a diagnosis of MS and clearly has an attention deficit issue...damn, don't tell your docs, they'll be at her door, whispering and flipping pages too!

  2. 18 Channels,

    Thank you for your thoughts on this! You make a good point about the pathologist's being scientist's, and not Dr.'s that are can tell me what the cure is for whatever is wrong with me.

    I am guilty sometimes, of wanting an answer NOW! And somewhat impatient when I don't get it. I get to feeling like a dummy, when they show me a picture,let me read a story,etc..and then ask me questions about them...and I draw a blank. It's those simple tests, that I fail.

    I am, and have always thought of myself, as a very smart, know it all type of person....until I started having trouble doing a simple math (division) question...I could have done easily in my head, when I was 10 yr.s old...and I could'nt even do it on paper that day. It's very strange. I can be driving, and do algebra in my head, for the fun of it. But when I am doing those psych. tests, I draw a blank at times.

    So are they seeing me? Or do they think I just never learned in school? How can they help me, if I'm not the man they think they are seeing?

    Tell Your Mom, never give up, and know that you love her! This is so very important to her, and us all!

  3. Hi Scott,

    Let me be honest, I so love when doctors take such an interest in me, when they check the details twice, even if they are confused, because, I have been to doctors who didn't have as much concern and I ended up going elsewhere to get help. Maybe this experience of yours is a good thing? Or, maybe not, then run out the back or front door quick! lol

    I am glad the meds are helping you! They can be a goldmine when they work. In a way I wish they would have worked for me, but on the other hand who knows what direction I would have gone - I am happy now with the ways things are, I have come to also be thankful for many of my struggles. And why not? They are there, can't change 'em, might as well use 'em for some good... anyway, I am getting long winded like Katy (hi Katy).
    Keep on writing, there's never any telling of who you may be touching, helping or, in some cases, confusing :-))


  4. Hey Bryan!,

    Thanks for the comment! I know what your saying about Dr.s showing interest in us. It is....stimulating(best word I can think of) when they make us feel unique.

    My fear, may be, that I will be told something, that I don't want to hear about myself. I know this sounds like an excuse to do what I want to do...instead of what I should do.....But I am always right about Huh Oh, the word "denial" just slapped me in the face! I'm learning.


  5. Oh geez...I am going to have to start imposing a 50 word limit on my responses...

    I like your take on this Bryan, of enjoying being studied.

    Those psych tests can seem intimidating, I don't think you're alone Scott in finding that kind of experience perplexing. I had that happen once too and a psychologist told my mother a bunch of stupid conclusions he came to about me because I wasn't super engaged and was a little intimidated by his stupid tests ;)

    I don't even think they are thinking about the whole thing in the same terms that you are though. To you, it is all personal because hello, you are the object of all of this interest and you are living it in real time. The docs/scientists are living it from a medical perspective, a puzzle to be solved. That's right, YOU are a puzzle to be solved :) And if it helps at all, I'm a bright person who is 34 and STILL can't do math worth a crap and never really could. It is frustrating to lose capabilities, retain others, develop new ones...all very mysterious but hopefully by doing all of this they will find ways to improve your life and the lives of others!

  6. You are right Katy."They" are not thinking the same way I do. I am not sure anyone is,or ever will(and I hope for everyones sake that no one ever will)be able to know how it feels.

    I don't mean that I don't want to be understood. I do want that. I think you do,or anybody that has read my last two posts understands why I feel the need to tell my story. And that I want to hear the stories about your's and all people's expieriance's (good and bad) when it comes to mental health(or the lack of it..LOL).

    This can IMPROVE OUR LIVES I think. ......Scott. ....I have an inspirational thought about holiday foods: "Dead Turkey's Taste Like Chicken" "Frog Legs Taste like Frog's" (Taste's fattening,,,BUT ITS NOT!)

  7. First off, if you ever decide to prepare frog in your kitchen, don't panic when you salt the meat. The salt triggers electrical current in the muscle, and your dead frog will seem to reanimate, with much kicking and twitching. I read this on the Serious Eats blog.

    Second off, you're doing the right thing here, and I hope you keep doing it. As Bryan said, there's always a back door to use if you need it.

    Right now I'm only seeing the psychiatrist. I'm looking for a therapist who understands ADD. (the woman I saw for therapy confessed that ADD wasn't something she well-understood.) If we lived in the same area we could carpool to therapy sessions.

  8. Yeah Mark, I've heard about the frogs kicking from my old freinds, who liked to go "frog giggin" late at night. I would go w/em, but we always got drunk, and not actualy do it(that was way back, when I was "Self Medicating" in my teenage yr.s).

    Thanks for saying:"Your doing the right thing here." That kind of encouragement is therapy for me! As I am writing this reply to your comment, I just had a thought...Maybe this is somewhat of a form of "Self Medicating", only I may be helping, instead of hurting myself with it.(I'm an over-analyzer

    BTW, I do love eating a good frog leg dinner at a few country diner's that serve em out here!

  9. I've never eaten frog, but I understand that it doesn't taste like chicken. It's gamier. Yes?

    At the end of my session with the psychiatrist yesterday, she told me that I was making great progress in following through with things -- investigating ADD, trying to change my routines -- and I lit up. When you work at home alone, encouragement like that is a rare thing. And it's definitely medication for me.

    One of the reasons I'm writing my blog is a not-so-subtle attempt to get positive feedback, to keep me moving forward.