Tuesday, December 29, 2009

I'M WEARING A DOUBLE DD!! denial and dilemma.....

Will the title to this post, get a reaction? Maybe.  I have'nt published many post yet(obviously),but I read all the comments. Comments from my 1st post http://addmsorboth.blogspot.com/2009/08/it-is-add.html have given me the inspiration to continue, and write about things that I think about, that may be of interest to all people with any ADD related symptoms, including people like myself with "Traveling Companions"(other malfunctions..Brain or Body). Soooo here I go>>>>,

I went to my once every 6 mo. appt. for M.S. on Dec. 17th  2010. This time I had a brain MRI right before seeing my Dr. @ the same Hospital complex, next door to the Mercy Institute of Nuerogical Science, where my Dr.s office is. It's easy for me now,because I have had many brain MRI's there, and they give me the pictures shortly after, and I can walk directly to my Dr.'s office with the results. Good News!!...? Not much change in the MRI, and I am (exact words of  my Dr.) maintaining, and have such a great attitude, and a desire to not let this brain disease get the best of me (mentaly).

"What is your dillema(the second "D") then, Scott?" You may ask me. I will answer.> I do not want to "maintain"! I don't truly beleive that I realy have M.S.,(denial? the first "D") and I can make this go away, whatever it is! Look! I have diabetes type 2, and when I found out I had it, I went on a low carb diet, and stop eating anything until dinner. I take 2 metforman a day, and at every Dr.(my GP appt.), my lab tests are great! I weigh 165 lb.s every time, and keep high BPressure under control(2 lisinopryls a day). I am taking Adderal20XR every day 5 A.M. and dealing with the ADD(you be the judge, I can't because I have ADD...LOL). I will take all my meds and be treated for M.S..and all  things untill I can be absolutely sure of any other way to get better.

Denial is an over-used word maybe, for many of us. We are (most of us) not religious fanatics that believe a "Higher Power" will cure us, so we stop taking meds and refuse any type of treatment. That is, in my opinion, suicide! And an unforgivable crime, when the parent of a helpless child does that!

I don't believe in a lot of things, but I do KNOW how it feels to have ADHD/ADD/Adult ADD with "Traveling Companions". And I KNOW that you do too, if you.....(tell your story please).

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Is ADD a gift or not? The proof is "IN THE PUDDING"

Well that's a silly title to a post about the ongoing debate about ADD being a "Gift" to a person with ADD/ADHD! Well look who's writing it! lol. Nuff said about how weird I am, so I will explain>

When I was first dx w/ADD, I only knew what the letters stood for. And so, ok thats me for sure. I started taking the meds and it made a big difference right away. Not so much to me, but my wife and other ppl that knew me, noticed I was paying attn. better, and could go get something without stopping and fixing every little thing I saw on my way, not even remembering what I was going to get.(does this sound familiar?) Then when they pointed that out to me, thats when I started noticing it!

I was dx'ed and taking meds for quite awhile before I started searching the web about ADD, and found some sights that talked about ADD being a gift. It said things about being endowed with some gifts that I had, like fixing or seeing an obvious solution to things quickly that others could'nt do or see! So WOW! I'm a freekin genius! I have all these intellecual thoughts speeding through my mind! Then after awhile, I came down to earth and started seeing the road I had been walking down, for most of my life.

These "speeding thoughts" racing through my mind. Thats always bothered me my whole life. What good is something that has only caused me to interupt ppl, keep me awake at night, make serious decisions quickly,and regret them later? Thats only the tip of the iceberg, about how these "gifts" have controled me.

I like pudding. So I will make some occasionaly. If I forget to put the right ingredients in it, it dose'nt taste good. If I fix it right it will taste great! But it's still pudding, no matter what, and it's not a healthy food.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

"IN THROUGH THE BACK DOOR"....medications and therepy

Before I begin this post I will say what I believe> Medications for A.D.D. are the best way to help people with A.D.D.. Psychological Therapy, I cannot say, because I have'nt tryed....yet.

Just like I have done my whole life, I go in through the back door. When I was a young man, I would always make a point to do that, when I went to my favorite "hole in the wall" beer joints to get drunk and play pool. (I don't go to bars or drink now btw) Most of those bars were what my one of my best freinds, big burley, tatoo'ed dad would jokingly, but seriously, describe to us in his deep southern accent, and say: "Boy's, them there places yur goin to, are the kinda places that when ya git there, if ya aint got a gun, they'll give ya one before they let ya in." He knew this, because that's where he probably got some of his scars, in his younger days. I can only say, my need for stimulation was in abundant supply in those bars. Some scars and dental bills later were'nt so fun though.....As you can plainly see, I was'nt a very good boy, in the late 70's. I'm luckly to be alive, and not ever get arrested.....besides a couple public intoxication's and a disorderly conduct.,,,,, Note: I did grow up, and finnaly stay whithin the limits of a decent society. But I went "In Through The Back Door."

I could give many more examples of the way I have gone in through the back door in my life. I could also have titled this post "Walking Through Fire to Get a Drink of Water". But I realy do like useing the back door, instead of the front door, for some reason I don't know, at every house or store..etc if I can. So it fits my personality I guess.......... Now on to medications and therapy>>>>

In my previous post, I showed my path to A.D.D. dx, but did'nt go into alot of detail about the recomendations that Dr. Ruwe(nueropsych) wrote on his report to Dr. Pardo, my M.S. Dr.. >Dr. Pardo states in my reports: "We will add Adderall XR 20 mg(to my long list af other meds, for other reasons)one per day A.M., partly based on the recommendations of  Dr. Ruwe, and the fact that Mr. Hutson presently experences multiple sclerosis-induced fatigue." He goes on to write;"At this time, it is our recommendation that Mr. Hutson participate in psychological counseling routinely. Additionally we would highly recommend that Mr. Hutson become involved in a comprehensive neurocognitive type therepy."

Can you see why I titled this post "IN THROUGH THE BACK DOOR" yet? The meds have helped me very much...but I am not sure about the counseling,therapy,etc....yet. I did go to an occupational evaluation, and a speech therapy evaluation on the same day, at the same office. The big boss(a very nice female Dr.) of the theraputic place came in to talk to me, after both pathologists saw me. She said she wanted to meet me, and ask me a few questions, because it is unusual for a patient to be being treated for both these things, and my whole situation(how I ended up there). That kinda concerned me.

Both those "interveiws" that day, seemed alot like my day of testing @ Dr..Ruwe's. And they asked so many questions, and would get up and go get something(another book/test thing), and I could hear em mumbling in the hall, like they were not sure about me. I could tell they were trying not to alarm me(scare me) about why this evaluation was taking all day, instead of what I was told, when I made the appt.(1&1/2-2 hrs, tops...uh huh). I may be a little goofy, but I'm not stupid, or blind. I know when something is fishy. So I'm a little hesitant about this whole psycho therapy stuff.

I would like to know what you think, or know about this. Thank You all for any comments!


Wednesday, September 16, 2009

The First Shall Be The Last! ....Lets hope so!

A note to readers: dx=diagnose  sx=sympton & A.D.D.=AD/HD(childhood and adult)

Q: What does the title of this post, have to do with A.D.D.?

A: The bumpy road that led to my dx of A.D.D..Before, after, and the disease's in between.

I will begin at the "In between", kinda like I read a book(lol).> When I was in my early 40's, I was living by myself after a divorce in 2001 (18 yr.'s married), and realized that I had not been sick(flu,cold,fever etc.) in over 10 yr.s.!  I thought I was invincable! I even bragged about it, and had no fear about what I would eat,drink,smoke...etc. But I was lonely, and needed something that I thought I would never find. I tryed, but it always turned out the same>lonely.

Then a couple yr.'s later(I'm not good with remembering dates,yr.'s,..etc..) I met Carolyn, (my wonerfull wife now)! She saved my life(you will see)by loving me, and giving me the ability to have the kind of  love I was searching for.>Me knowing I am in love, and being loved. Not with words, but with truth and open honesty. She called my bluff, so to speak, and layed her own cards on the table(and still does)! That could be another long post, so I will skip to a couple yr.'s later.

I still had not been "sick", and had stopped drinking shortly after we met(was'nt hard to do) and have'nt had a drink in over 7 yr.'s, or even wanted one. That's a good thing, because if I had a drink today, I would most likely die within a few hr.'s from the mixture of all the presribed meds I take to stay alive. Ironic is an word to desribe much of my life(lol). Now, on to main subject...I went to see our family Dr. (my wife made me..lol) for a complete exam, blood work and all. Not because I was sick, but we have good ins. provider,(have payed alot of $'s over the yr.'s) and I had'nt seen a Dr. in 15 yr.'s. Evrythings Okie Dokie,,lungs,heart,B.P. a little high,but I was 20 lb.s overweight at the the time, so no prob,,,,until lab results showed Type2 diabetes. Ok then, I started meds(metformin 1nce a day),whatched my carbs, lost 20 lb.s(5'11" 170 lb.s)in about 6mo.s. Everythings fine. Skip to summer 2006.

Go to Dr.(my wife made me,again(lol). Speech probs,word finding probs(always have had word finding stuff a little,but was more noticeable that summer)R-hand motor skills. So go get MRI. .....This is one date I will always remember> Aug.18,2006, 9:00 A.M.,  Norman Regional Hospital, I had an MRI of my brain. Later that day, I received a call on my cell phone @ 2:53 P.M.. Nurse calls and said: "Dr. Harrolsen asked me to call you and tell you, he has the results of your MRI, and wants to go over them with you today, before 4:30." Of course I asked if there was some promblem with the MRI,and so on. She only said: "Scott, I can only tell you that Dr. Harrolsen realy needs to see you today." I could tell by the sound of her voice, that I probably had something wrong with me. I felt fine that day, so I figured it was just something he saw, that he wanted to test my reflexes or something, like he did at my 1st appt. before MRI.

I was'nt that far away from the Dr.'s office that day. I just was, by chance, installing some doors & storm doors at a customers house, about 20 min.s away, whith my dad. So I decided to go ahead and finish the door I was working on. About 5 min.s after the nurse called, I called my wife, and told her my plans, and what the nurse said (not exactly...just I was asked to go see the Dr.).  Well, she(my wife) knows how I am about things, and she said: "I'm clocking out now, and I will meet you there, and you need to stop whatever you are doing, and go now Scott! I am serious, please just go now, your dad can finish whatever your doing!"  And she was right about that, so I told dad, and he said the same thing Carolyn said, only louder(lol).

I got to the Dr.'s office, and waited in my truck, and lit a cig. while I waited for Carolyn to get there. While I sat there thinking about why the Dr. wanted to talk to me so soon after MRI, a very calm feeling embraced me(best way I can explain this feeling). And I just knew that my life was going to change that day. And I knew I was ready and able to overcome anything that was getting ready to happen. This is the Gods Honest Truth, what I just wrote about that moment in the parking lot of our Dr.'s office. I had never had, nor probably never will again feel the serenity, that I had,  for that brief moment in my life. That's not relevent to this post though. So, I will stay on subject in the next paragraph.

We sat down in the Dr.'office, and he said he had no better way to tell us, than to just tell us the MRI shows at least 12 tumors, and pointed out the largest one, above & behind the left ear. Carolyn was obviously trying to keep her emotions under control. I only asked the Dr. if I needed to maybe get some tests at a hospital in the near future. He rested his hand on Carolyn's shoulder, and looked me in the eye, and said: "I have already registered you, and you have a room at Norman Regional Hospital ready for you now Scott. If you need to go home and get some things, then you should go now. I know this is hard for both of you, if you need someone to take you or drive..." I stopped him there and said we will be fine, and just give us the information we need when we get to the hospt....etc.

So far, this post has only shown the road we traveled in a personal way. I will publish this on my blog now, but I will continue and write more about the diseases that are not A.D.D.,..... what Gina Pera (the person that has helped me the most, in understanding A.D.D.) calls "Traveling Companions" that I have. I have only two dx'ed traveling companions. I have learned, there are many more diseases, syndromes,,,etc. That are traveling companions with  other  people that also have A.D.D..  I would like to learn and write more posts on that subject in the future. For now, I will keep adding more info. on this post, until I am satified I have given my best way of explaining the title of it.

I'll make this short,and get to final dx as quick as I can..... I went through every test known, and the final result was, I needed a brain biospy. We had to find a neurosurgean, and thats not as easy as it sounds. Finnaly a step cousin, who was a patholgist at Mercy Hospt. in OK. City. was able to get me an appt. with Dr. Reynolds. A very highly respected N.S.. Who did a biospy on the least dangerous tumor on my r-frontal lobe. I will skip to My present Dr. and the words on my first dx.(I have copies of everything)

IMPRESSION: Mr. Hutson has been a diagnostic dilemma as he clearly has significant evindence of inflammatory disease in his brain, a brain biopsy was not particularly helpful, showing just chronic inflammatory, with no identifying features. The characteristics of the lesions in the brain MRI are not entirely typical for multiple sclerosis given the diffuse nature of them and the predominant juxtacortical location. (some other stuff blah blah....) He goes on with...With all that being said and having looked for other explanations, it does appear that Mr. Hutson has probable multiple sclerosis, albeit with an atypical clinical and MRI presentation. That was 11/02/06.

 I will just tell the treaments up to now>Rebif44, cytoxin chemo once a mo. for 6 mo.'s, ...Then I had a series of complex partial seizures for a few mo.s, which led to generalized tonic clonic seizure(Gran Mal, a biggy) ICU because of excessive hypertention with the seizure, twice in 1 week -2/28/07 was the 1st......later on, an all day Neuropsychological evaluation by Dr. William Ruwe, and a dx. of A.D.D.....Lots more stuff in between M.S. dx and A.D.D. dx, But A.D.D. dx. was about 2 yrs. ago. And so, I will explain more later in this post, but right now, my eyes are gettin perty tired......

Eyes are rested now.......The reason for the neuropsych. exam.,written in my reports, was (keep in mind, Carolyn goes w/me to my neuro. appt.s(M.S.): July 24th 2007..  "Mrs. Hutson reports that Scott has become increasingly confused and forgetful. She states that this has been increasing in severity over the last four months, noting numerous occasions where Scott will walk into a room and forget why he is there, needing assistance from Mrs. Hutson. "(I think that is a bit over-dramatic, but.....)

Moving on to 2/18/09.....Next neuro. aptt. >(I will only write about A.D.D. dx stuff in the report).  "Dr. William Ruwe, who made numerous recommendations, in his report. This report was reviewed by Dr. Pardo and myself (my M.S. Dr. and David Dube, PA-C) prior to Mr. Hutson's visit, and we will discuss the findings and make our recommendations at this time." ..........Ok now I've gotten to the A.D.D. dx......Dr. Ruwe said I am A.D.D., and most likely have always been. Thats what he saw in my tests, and also from interveiw(questions about me and what she knows about my past) with Carolyn while I was testing.  And talking with me after testing.(He saw right through me, and my way of  "Acting like I'm a  normal guy". I realize now.)

So heres the explanation for the title:"The First Shall Be The Last" >It looks to me like, I was born A.D.D.. And along the way I picked up these "Traveling Companions" that only served to increase(make more obviuos)the sx's of A.D.D.  So let's hope the A.D.D. is the last disease I get. It was the first..............I will use a quote from ....Job, 42.12>  "So the Lord blessed the latter end of Job more than his begining"(even though I am no where even close to being perfect, like Job. I just like the book.)

Scott Thomas Hutson .....Born September 24th 1960-----

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

It is ADD

I started this blog to see if I could find scientific proof  that ADD and M.S. are somehow related to each other. I deleted all previous posts for these reasons,,,,please read this.

I realized yesterday, while working on my garden, the harm I am doing to myself and others.  I was being selfish and in search for something that I thought would help me. I just need to admit to myself that I have ADD.(ADHD/Adult ADD..etc,I will just say "ADD" in all my posts).

The only thing I do know is, I cannot prove to anyone via scientific evidence, that I have ADD,or M.S..I can prove >> I absolutely do have ADD from eye-witness acounts of my life(family,friends,etc....). Now that they know, they can tell me the things they were worried about for so many years, and were afraid to tell me, for fear of hurting our relationships.(I can/would be very defensive about my own faults)

 An all day NeuroPsych. exam, that my M.S. Dr..... http://www.mercyok.com/nsi/ms.asp sent me to get, was the best thing, I have done, so far, to improve my quality of life.I was diagnosed Adult A.D.D., and am taking meds for it.

I never even thought about ADD or M.S. before Aug.06, at the age of 46, I started having problems with pronouncing words and motor skills in my right hand. This led to discovery of 12 brain tumors via of MRI presentation. That led to brain biopsy, Atypical findings in samples sent to 3 hospitals,..on and on.

I am being treated for M.S., it's such a long story, but I have no choice, besides death, but to continue taking the medications and treatments for M.S. The main one being seizure meds, which is one of  the Atypical symptoms (2-5% of M.S. patients), of the many other Atypical M.S. symptoms (tumors?lesions?locations among some of them)I have. So I am not a good example of  M.S. cognition being related to ADD. Maybe brain damage location, that has caused my already existing ADD to be even more noticeable.

So I will try to concentrate(hyperfocus...lol) on ADD, and see where this leads. Feel free to comment,and say what you think about this or me, or tell me your story about your own ADD or someone you know w/ADD..etc....Thank You!!!